Jan 10, Day 10: the fear of death (deadlifts)

Just a brief entry tonight. No fancy stuff.

What I ate:

• 9 AM: breakfast quinoa (1 c cooked quinoa, raisins, 2 tbsp flax seeds and 1 tbsp flax oil), I am having trouble eating anything else for breakfast these days since this is so good, easy, filling, and energizing
• 11 AM: the most perfect persimmon in the universe, six almonds, and a medjool date
• 1:30 PM: post-WOD protein shake (banana, 1/2 c blueberries, 6 oz almond milk, 4 oz coconut milk, scoop of protein powder)
• 3:30 PM: BIG salad. This took me, like, an hour to eat, and it filled a big bowl: greens, two eggs, 8 baby carrots, 1 cup of lentil sprouts, 1/4 c tahini dressing
• 7 PM: 1 small apple and 2 oz amazing goat cheese from the co-op
• Going home from work at 9 PM. I plan to cook up some kale in the pressure cooker tonight, trying that for the first time...I'll likely eat some just to see how it tastes :)

What I exercised:

• I. Deadlifts, work up to 7 rep max
  85x7, 115x3, 135x2, 155x2, 155x7
• II. 3 rounds, as many reps as possible in a minute:
  KB swings--35#
  box jumps--used the 18 inch box
  toes to bar--subbed knees to elbows
  jumping lunges--and I eliminated the jump
  rest 1 minute between rounds
  round 1=80 reps; round 2=70 reps; round 3=72 reps
• III. (after class was over) made up the benchmark WOD, "Grace"
  30 Clean and Jerks for time--scaled to 75#
  finished in 4:51

How I felt: "Grace" was so fun, even though I was beat by the time we hit it today. And all that stuff I wrote yesterday about remembering to pull back my knees? All went right out the window as soon as the timer beeped. The only thing I was thinking about was getting that bar above my head, somehow, some way. 4:51 isn't terribly fast but it's respectable, so I'm happy. I think I scaled appropriately. Looking forward to hitting it again in the beginning of April.

As for the deadlifts:  well, I am pretty terrified of them, ever since I injured myself doing deads a couple years ago. I am super conservative with the weights, and concentrate most on form. So I was happy that I hit 7 reps at 155. It felt challenging but not beyond my boundaries--it still felt quite safe. 

I have been known to cry during deadlifts before. Maybe it's something about the name. It brings up memories of working for hospice. Maybe it's that deadlifts are the least mental of all the lifts--so my brain, which is pretty hyperkinetic, really gets in the way. 

I dunno. Crossfit is so much about a person's state of mind. The crossfitting is going well for me right now, and I think that has a lot to do with my generally positive and peaceful state of mind these past few weeks. Conversely, when my life feels out of control and difficult, it spills over into my crossfit world and I find myself tired, prone to injury and making excuses.

 It's all about balance, right? Both inside and outside of the box.